I’m not a massive fan of poetry, which, I’m sure, is probably because, like opera, I just haven’t been educated enough regarding its finer points to fully appreciate it. But, this isn’t about poetry. It’s about defiling a perfectly good artform I do understand. This is the music curmudgeon in me coming out.

If you’ve paid attention to the news the past two days, you may already know what’s coming. If you haven’t been paying attention to the Happy News segments, then you don’t already know the Cumbria county tourism bureau has come up with what they feel is an innovative way to bring one of their past luminaries to the attention of a whole new generation.

Apparently, those in Generation X, Y, and Z can only understand and relate to William Wordsworth’s “I Wandered Lonely As A Cloud” - commonly known as “Daffodils” (see, I’m not a total dimwit, though I did have to access the Internets to learn the actual title) - when a large demented squirrel translates and raps it for us.

For reference, here is the original “I Wandered Lonely As A Cloud”:

I wandered lonely as a Cloud
That floats on high o’er Vales and Hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced, but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:-
A poet could not but be gay
In such a jocund company:
I gazed-and gazed-but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude,
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the Daffodils.

Now, for those of you who simply can’t relate to that, here’s the updated translation. This will be filed under Novelty Rap, Dumb. Right next to Rapping, see Rappin’.