We thought it’d be fun to see what the Japanese charts are up to. You would be forgiven if you thought the Japanese would be on the cutting edge of music, given the future-looking nature of the products we always hear about coming out of the Land of the Rising Sun.
Well, what does the May 21, 2007 singles chart (compiled by Oricon Style) look like? Take a very quick scan below. See the difference? No? Look again. Correctamundo. No Avril Lavigne. If you peruse the current charts around the world you can’t escape Ms. Lavigne. Or Linkin Park. Not in Japan. We’ll have none of that here. This is a local chart. For local people. It’s as if Lavigne or Linkin Park don’t exist.
And now for the moment you’ve all been waiting for. The Zany Grainy Oh So Judgemental YouTube Revue of the May 21, 2007 Japanese Singles Top 10!
#1 B’z – “Eien No Tsubasa”
A: This is some of the best music video (or as the Japanese call them, promotional video) acting I’ve seen in a long time. That busted up leg action the main character sports really has me believing they beat the crap out of him before the shoot.
T: I think I might be dead inside. Everybody in this video is crying and I got nothing. Though it’s good to hear that power ballads are still going strong in Japan.
#2 Kiyoshi Hikawa – “Abayo”
T: No. Freaking. Way. This is just … there are no words. Well, there is one thing: Why exactly does he look like a French Captain Stubing?
A: I don’t even know how to react to this song or video. Apparently, this gentleman is the ‘Prince of Enka’ style J-Pop, which the Wikipedia write-up likens to U.S. country ‘theme and audience’-wise. I’ll tell you what: I don’t see this guy lasting very long in a country bar.
#3 Kiyoshi Hikawa – “Kiyoshino Soranbushi”
T: Oh my god, it’s that guy again!! Why is he so popular?!?
A: This is a frackin classic. It’s like a joke. Except it’s not. I have to admit, I think it’s very catchy.
#4 Remioromen – “Hotaru/Run”
A: Not unlike ‘our’ indie, but boiled a few times to appeal to the tastes of a wider audience.
T: Awesome video though. Hmm, you know what, I kinda like this. Cute song, spaceships and dinosaurs. It’s the full pop package.
#5 Aqua Timez – “Shiori”
A: Again limp indie. This time more boy band-ish that Remioromen (see #4 above).
T: Alright, so they did squeeze all the RAW out of rawk, but they don’t suck so bad.
#6 Arashi – “We Can Make It!”
A: Yep, this is what happened to Boyzone. I have very few words for Boyzone and can’t muster anything for this.
T: No no, you see the thing that happened was, when these guys were dismissed from the military – where they got those very not-gay jackets – they became firemen. Hence the sliding off the colorful poles. Again, very not-gay.
#7 Yukari Tamura – “Hoshizora No Spica”
T: It’s your average J-Pop hit. In fact, I think I fell on my face once while I was trying to Dance Dance Revolution my way through this song.
A: See, for some reason, I dig this stuff more than the power ballads sung by men. She sounds like she’s having fun telling us whatever she’s telling us.
#8 Masafumi Akikawa – “Sen No Kaze Ni Natte”
T: Aah! It’s like Il Divo, except it’s just the one guy and he’s not butchering an existing song with his operatic shenanigans. As far as I can tell …
A: Tamboosh pretty much captures this one.
#9 Kannivalism – “Small World”
T: Is that a dude? Either way, this is great! The drama, the band name, the David Bowie eyes, the sexual ambiguity. Emo sounds so much better in Japanese.
A: I think it is a dude.
#10 Redballoon – “Gin-iro No Sora”
T: I don’t hate it, but then again I don’t anything it. It’s like the kind of rock you can buy at the supermarket. You know, by the check out, next to the Danielle Steele novels.
A: Tamboosh is right. That emotion generates much smoke but not much fire.
For those of you who made it this far. Congratulations.
Signing off from Japan, this has been another installment of Those Zany Charts …
Filed under: Music, Those Zany Charts ...
Amazing, very funny!
I liked Arashi the most!