My personal Worst Songs list would probably be topped by two songs especially: Pat Boone’s “Love Letters In The Sand” (because it’s heinous) and Ronan Keating’s “When You Say Nothing At All”. The Ronan Keating one was lower on my chart before, but then I saw a reality wedding show where, after saying their ‘I dos’, the new husband burst out in a gut wrenching rendition of the song. I would have screamed, cried, kicked him in the nuts, and prayed that someone taped that, because if ever there was good reason for an anulment … Well anyway, join me in my celebration of B-A-D!
The Top 5 Worst Songs as voted by CNN.com readers:
5. Terry Jacks – Seasons in the Sun
4. Charlene – I’ve Never Been to Me
3. Debby Boone – You Light Up My Life
2. The Captain And Tennille – Muskrat Love
1. Paul Anka – (You’re) Having My Baby
Oooo boy, these are all deservedly in the top 5 for sure! They all, in their own special way, make me want to barf up the chicken I had earlier, but the song that puzzles me most is “Muskrat Love”. Especially the synthesizer beeps and blips that are supposed to sound like muskrats … making sweet love(??). That’s just filthy. The thing that makes these songs so evil is that they don’t seem to end. Towards the middle of each of these songs I start to believe that the only way to escape them is by pouring mercury in my ears. A tad drastic maybe, but I wholeheartedly agree with this chart.
The BBC brings us The Top 5 Worst Songs as voted on an online poll:
5. 5ive featuring Queen – We Will Rock You
4. Glenn Hoddle and Chris Waddle – Diamond Lights
3. Meat Loaf – I’ll Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That)
2. Gazza and Lindisfarne – Fog on the Tyne
1. The Beatles – Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da
I have some issues with the songs in this list. First of all, don’t blame a song if the thing you really detest is the obnoxious boyband (5ive). Second, – and there’s no way I can make this sound cool – I have a soft spot for “I Would Do Anything For Love”. Yah, I sorta made up a little play to go along with the lyrics when I was younger … Leeeet’s move on. “Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da” is number one?!? Alright, it’s not their best but a bad Beatles song is still a million times better than, oh say, Olivia Newton John’s “I Honestly Love You”. Ugh, I hate that song with the fire of Satan’s breath.
The Top Five according to Blender Magazine:
5. Vanilla Ice – Ice Ice Baby
4. Limpbizkit – Rollin’
3. Wang Chung – Everybody Have Fun Tonight
2. Billy Ray Cyrus – Achy Breaky Heart
1. Starship – We Built This City
Hm, hindsight is a wonderful thing ain’t it, but don’t even pretend you didn’t dance along with ‘Eminem Lite’ when this number 5 first came out. The same probably goes for the Wang Chung song, but I was 5 so I don’t remember. I don’t mind it so much, it sounds like your average 80’s club hit. But how DO you Wang Chung tonight?? Anyway, what is there to say about Billy Ray Cyrus? Bad haircut, bad song, but I think it’s kinda funny. I mean this song is like a joke, right? He didn’t actually think this was the lyrical highpoint of his career … right? And then there’s the soulless insta-hit that is “We Built This City”. At least that’s what I heard. I always read about how Jefferson Starship sold out or something, but I don’t think I know any of their other songs, and I’ve definitely heard worse than this chart topping bad song.
Jealous of these artists with their awesomely bad song writing abilities? CNN.com is so kind to give us a How To Write A Bad Song tutorial.
Filed under: Music, Those Zany Charts ..., mp3
People love to hate songs! I operate a free music webcast, and the listeners submit their ratings for the songs. Here are the 3 lowest-rated songs, as determined by the station’s listeners:
1. Macarena – Los Del Rio
2. Stars Are Blind – Paris Hilton
3. Like To Get To Know You – Spanky & Our Gang
A Beatles song in the worst 5??? Especially when Paris Hilton is still around??
This is right up there with the worst survey results I’ve ever known…
What is this world coming to!
I guess there is always somebody who is different–I love that old Meatloaf song. My girlfriends and I used to sing along with it. Not exactly “Paradise by the Dashboard Lights”, but we got a kick out of it. We never could figure out what the thing he wouldn’t do was, though.
Peculiar. I would think that the really bad songs are *unknown* ones, because they just don’t survive. I mean even if you take time to rate a song extremely badly, it still has stirred something. I guess the lists were not compiled from spontaneous mentions, but from multiple choice lists.
I think it’s a bit unfair to rate a song being bad, if it is overplayed in commercial radio. “I’ll Do Anything For Love” for example. It’s not really the fault of the song – but of the commercialised broadcast system.
Come to mention, where is Phil Collins…? I guess Starship and Wang Chung have to stand in for him and his “sound”.
I agree – it seems likely that most really hated songs become that way because of overexposure. And I also agree that that’s not really the song’s fault. There are plenty of pop songs that I started off liking but now can’t really bear to listen to.
I also kind of like that Meatloaf song – it’s so corny, it made it all the way back to good. And there’s no way that any Beatles song is worthy of a ‘Worst Of’ list. Not when there’s Liberty X’s “Just A Little” lurking out there in the dark. (I would seriously rather spend the three and half minutes screaming at the top of my lungs than have to hear that song.) Or “Hotel California”, which is definitely at the tippy-top of my ‘Worst Of’ list.
And “Ice Ice Baby” is awesome and everybody knows it.