Some songs are so popular that it takes ages for them to get beaten off the number one spot. These singles inevitably become synonymous with the year they came out; there was no 1998 without Cher asking us over and over and over again whether we believed there’s life after love. Most of these songs are most likely on your list of songs you love to hate, but you have to admire the fact that they clung on to the number one position for as long as they did, when it’s hard enough to get a single in the top ten in the first place. Now here’s the world’s chart of songs that spent the longest time on that most coveted position in music.

12 weeks at number one:

   Donna Summer – I Feel Love (1977)
Puff Daddy and Faith Evans featuring 112 – I’ll Be Missing You (1997)
Madonna – Music (2000)
   Shakira – Whenever, Wherever (2002)
   Beyonce – Irreplaceable (2006-2007)

I LOVE “I Feel Love”! It’s psychedelic disco at it’s absolute best. The rest of the songs – and I guess the rest of the list is no different – are all songs you probably know the lyrics to without even trying. “I’ll Be Missing You” the tribute to Biggie Smalls by Diddy, four name changes ago, and his performance with Sting at the MTV Video Music Awards that year caused a renewed interest in The Police who reunited earlier this year. The other three songs are by strong female artists who consistently make great pop music. The only song that I don’t really get is “Whenever, Wherever”, the lyrics are a bit confusing, but also contain some of my favorite lines like: ‘Lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don’t confuse them with mountains’. Hee. My breasts are more standoffish than humble.

14 Weeks:

Toni Braxton – Un-Break My Heart (1996-1997)

Oh god. This and “My Heart Will Go On” further down in the list, will go down as songs that went from ‘eh, not horrible’ to ’sweet lord, please make it stop’ the fastest in my book. I thought this song, fueled by a tear jerker of a video, could not get more dramatic, until I heard Il Divo’s version.

15 Weeks:

Elton John – Candle in the Wind (1997-1998)
   Cher – Believe (1998-1999)
   Madonna – Hung Up (2005-2006)

Three artists whose careers span many many decades. The new version of “Candle In The Wind”, originally written as a tribute to Marilyn Monroe, was altered to fit Princess Diana. It became the ultimate expression of the public’s massive outpoor of grief that followed her death. The other two songs are the exact opposite of the Elton John single, they were meant to be celebrated to. Man, you could not escape “Believe” that year! It was on the TV, the radio, in shops, on the street, even on the bus and inevitably in your head, in your head, in your head. It took me the following year to shake off the song, but it cemented Cher’s amazing ability to dish out hits every decade since she first started making beautiful music with Sonny in 1965.

16 Weeks:

Céline Dion – My Heart Will Go On (1998)
Shakira featuring Wyclef Jean – Hips Don’t Lie (2006)

Aha, that big sappy song from that big sappy boat movie. There were times that I wished Céline would hit her own giant iceberg, but 1998 would just not have been the same without the world sniffling over Jack and Rose to the tunes of this number. I love Wyclef Jean when it’s just him, but the collaborations are mostly not for me. Sadly the singles of him doing his thing all on his own are few and far between. This song is no exception, I don’t really get the whole “Hips Don’t Lie” phenom, but Shakira will always be known as ShakiraShakira to me now. While we’re at it, whatever happened to the Fugees reunion that was announced two years ago?!?

And now with 17 weeks, the longest reigning single ever … drum roll please:

   Los Del Río – Macarena (1995-1996)

“Macarena” came out during an unusually hot summer in 1995 and became that and the following year’s summer anthem. After over four months of Macarena-ing, I thought there would never be a world without the Macarena ever again. I remember seeing footage of politicians and royalty doing the Macarena at one point in 1996, that’s when I knew that the song stopped being cute and might just be the worst thing in music history. In spite of this massive achievement, I don’t know anybody who lists this as their favorite song, or dance. However, all new dance crazes will forever be measured against the Macarena’s immense success. The other day I read somewhere that the Soulja Boy Dance has become the “new Macarena”. I’ll believe it when I see Kofi Annan Crank That with Prince Charles.