Those Zany Charts … 100bells Edition

For those who don’t know, the Christmas Number 1 single is a really big deal in the UK. I have no idea why but the single at Number 1 on Christmas Day is a extra special spot to hold and it’s (as far as I know) unique to the UK. Looking at this list, I see that most of the songs that have had this special honor have absolutely nothing to do with Christmas.

Traditionally, the Christmas Number 1 is something a little sappy, or maybe some novelty song aimed at children … alright, let’s just be honest. They’re usually pretty crappy songs. Check out the 1996-1998: The Spice Girls held that all-important spot for three years in a row and they were perfectly capable of a decent bubblegum hit but those are all of their worst songs. There’s some pretty weird songs in there as well. I just don’t know how else to say it – these are just do not go well with the warm and fuzzies that Christmas is supposed to bring.

1975 & 1991 Queen – Bohemian Rhapsody

“Mama, just killed a man. Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger, now he’s dead.” Ah, yes – the traditional murder ballad. Granted, “Bohemian Rhapsody” is pure genius and a classic – and loved enough to be the Christmas Number 1 twice (thanks to Wayne’s World). But it’s still an odd song to be humming over your eggnog.

1979 Pink Floyd – Another Brick In The Wall

I guess anytime is a good time to Stick It To The Man. Still, it seems a little less powerful if you think about it as the soundtrack to crazed shoppers snapping up bargains in a frenzied mall.

1981 The Human League – Don’t You Want Me

I’ll just admit I don’t quite know what’s going on in this song/video. The song is, apparently, based on the movie A Star Is Born, which I’ve never seen. The, erm, ‘concept’ of the video is the making of a murder mystery movie. Interesting. Based solely on the lyrics, it seems there was some chick and some guy – he made her into a success somehow, then she dumped him. Now nobody wants anyone. Or something. (I’ll also admit that I didn’t try extra hard to follow the lyrics.) In any case, the wikipedia says that Human League lead singer Philip Oakey described “Don’t You Want Me” as “a nasty song about sexual power politics”. And everyone knows there’s nothing more Christmassy than sexual power politics.

After those oddities, here’s something actually Christmassy.

1984 Band Aid – Do They Know It’s Christmas?

And then again …

1989 Band Aid II – Do They Know It’s Christmas?
(Kind of crappy quality video, it’s the best I could find.)

Oh wait, there’s one more …

2004 Band Aid 20 – Do They Know It’s Christmas?

All sarcasm aside, this is the only Christmas Number 1 I really approve of – the 1984 original anyway. It’s actually a seasonal song, so that helps. It’s definitely a little lame, but the whole Band Aid thing kind of gives you a feeling of goodwill in the world, when you think about that kind of thing happening for the first time. We’re so cynical now, but Band Aid was a good thing, and mostly done by people who made the effort because they knew someone had to. I’m not so sure that’s true of the later versions but even mentioning that misses the point of the song. Yes, I get a little choked up and I don’t care if that makes me a sucker.

So what will this year’s Number 1 be? Any guesses?

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