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Two-thirds of 100b have been massive fans of The Black Keys for since we first heard their glorious sound blasting from our speakers. One-third of us had only listened to them casually previous to this assignment. In honor of their wonderful new album, Attack & Release, our mission was to choose their very best song and justify our choice in 100 words or less. It turned out to be pretty difficult for all of us. If you choose to accept this mission, play along with us in the comments.

aDawgg:

The best Black Keys album is Rubber Factory, which gobbled up six of the 10 tracks on the Long List. Sadly, when forced to pick the best single song, nothing from Rubber Factory made it to the Big Three: “Breaks” (The Big Come Up). “Have Love Will Travel” (thickfreakness). “Modern Times” (Magic Potion). Listening to each one last time right now I still haven’t decided. I guess I prefer musics that tug at my gut. Give me rhythm and memorable guitar play. That’s what it takes to get me hooked. The best of the Black Keys? Just listen to it.

   The Black Keys - Modern Times

Bean:

When I think about the The Black Keys, the first thing I think of is their incredible live shows. I think of feeling like the music is physically blowing you away. I think of Patrick Carney drumming so hard his glasses fly off and the floor tremors like an earthquake. I think about feeling Dan Auerbach’s guitar in my knees and hearing his voice in the pit of my stomach. These are not the only qualities that make The Black Keys great, but they’ve made the deepest impression on me. “Grown So Ugly” epitomizes that feeling. Listen to it LOUD.

   The Black Keys - Grown So Ugly

Tamboosh:

I remember what it felt like to stand in a row to be picked for teams during gym classes. You stand there so vulnerable, exposed, and spotty and pray that you’re not the last one called. It’s dehumanizing and gym teachers who force kids to go through it are cruel. I didn’t want any of The Black Keys’ - whom I love with an almost disturbing passion - songs to go through that so in a low whisper I say, I choose “Set You Free” from Thickfreakness. Sexy, loud, raw, stirring, and passionate, it’s everything I heart about them Keys.

   The Black Keys - Set You Free

You know how hot people tend to travel in packs? Well, the same goes for hot bands. In honor of our upcoming 100best post, we bring you Tennessee’s own Royal Bangs. They released their debut We Breed Champions themselves in 2006, but - here’s where this month’s 100best band comes in - Patrick Carney checked them out on the MySpace, loved what he heard, and is going to release the record on his label Audio Eagle Records on the 13th of May. They’ve been blogged to pieces so don’t take my word for it, but hot damn they’re good. They have a bleepy, organized chaos-y feel comparable to Whirlwind Heat and Architecture In Helsinki, and Modest Mouse around with experimental vocals and odd shifts in mood. They also get the stamp of approval from at least 50% of The Black Keys, which should really be enough to pique your curiosity.

Listen to the Strokesy “Broke Calculator” courtesy of I Rock Cleveland.

   Royal Bangs - Broke Calculator

Did you know that “Jump” was Van Halen’s only #1 hit? And that, according to some stories, it was the catalyst for their split with David Lee Roth? (Who was supposedly against the new synth-pop direction the band took with this single.) The wikipedia explains that this story is unlikely, for various reasons. But if it’s true, it must be water under the bridge and all that, because the wikipedia also says that’s it’s been the encore song every night on their reunion tour with David Lee Roth. Yup, at some point you’ve got to just embrace what the people love and go with it.

A real Van Halen fan probably already knows all of this stuff, but I’m not that. Pretty much all I know about Van Halen is this one song. I’m just a big fun pop song fan, and this is one of the best.

   Van Halen - Jump

I found this wikipedia list and got ready to go find those videos on youtube. Which is when I discovered that someone’s already written my post, and they did a way better job than I had planned to do. Sigh.

If you’re interested in the most absurdly expensive videos ever made, and what exactly made them cost so damn much, go here:

Crazy Topic: 10 Most Expensive Music Videos

And marvel at how you barely remember most of them.

Except for Missy Elliot, she’s badass and her videos (especially around that time) were always pretty awesome.

   Missy Elliot - She’s A Bitch

It’s once again time to round up the news-ish! Since we’ve started this post I’m proud to say that we’ve managed to steer clear from commenting on celebrity relationships, because we really don’t give a crap who’s secretly married or not, who’s engaged because she’s pregnant or not. Leave it to me to break this admirable streak, but this love connection made me go whozajiggawhat?!? This news is a bit older, but Devendra Banhart and Natalie Portman, people. That’s almost as strange a pairing as two historical figures from different continents and time periods hooking up, like say … Cleopatra and Mussolini. For the longest time, I’ve had a girl-crush on Natalie Portman, so maybe it’s just jealousy talking but not in a shmajillion years did I expect these two to get it on, to put it grossly. I know she’s been in one of his videos and he made a song for some charity thing she did, but still. I like this couple in an existential sort of way, it reminds me that anything can happen at any time.

I was always under the impression that Bright Eyes was Conor Oberst’s stage alter ego, like Ziggy Stardust, or Mariah’s Mimi, or Lightspeed Champion. But he recently revealed he’s going to be releasing a solo album soon … OK I love his music, but what the hell has he been doing all the other times? I thought Bright Eyes was basically the Conor Oberst show, how much more Obersty can it get? I’m intrigued.

Elvis’ visit to London in 1958 ranks up there with legends like Jesus’ visit to Glastonbury made famous by William Blake’s poem And Did Those Feet. Well, it looks like The King’s feet did indeed touch British soil back then. I bet there’s an old Londoner out there who’s been saying for years that he once shared a pint with him and people would smile, shake their heads, and say ’sure old man, that happened’. Finally vindicated, he must feel pretty good about himself, he probably printed ‘I told you so’ on a t-shirt. Oh, and just so there’s no confusion I’m not comparing Jesus to Elvis, John Lennon’s 1966 snafu taught me better.

The Smashing Pumpkins’ announcement that they may not make another album, is the kind of info we try to cover with the -ish in New-ish. It’s vague and non-descript and oh yeah, I don’t care. I mean, who does? This also goes for Ryan Adams and Lily Allen’s ill-advised new love affair with the peroxide bottle. Apparently working on new albums makes you want to go blonde.

Oh-oh-oh, check out my new favorite video! If the song doesn’t blow your mind, the crafty visuals will. Embroidery, Mexican wrestlers, monkeys, and totem poles are just some of the things that’ll tickle your retina. Here’s Architecture In Helsinki’s “Like It Or Not”:

I’m pee-my-pants excited over Weezer’s upcoming “red album”. The glorious blue album still makes it into my CD player - how come saying that makes me feel like I might as well have been cranking up the phonograph? - a lot. The stoopid good “Pork & Beans” streamed on their site is reminiscent of the glory days, which is a good thing.

Scott Weiland may have left a big gap to fill with his semi-forced ousting, but to the remaining Velvet Revolvers this is an opportunity to cause a big stir and announce they’re looking for a new singer on the internet. If you think you have what it takes to front Velvet Revolver, tape yourself looking over a big hat covering a bushel of frizzy hair whilst exercising your vocal chords and maybe you’ll be picked to do that for a living. The Pipettes lost two whole members and managed to replace them with much less hoohaw then the aforementioned band.

We end with the lyrical whirlwind that is Nas. The wannabe punk in me loves it when people stir the pot for all the right reasons. No other word could cause this much of a ruckuss and has scholars, politicians, as well as talk shows debating it as much as the N-word. Nas new controversially titled album, that may or may not see a release has had people up in arms for a while now. Nahright gives us a preview of shockingly delicious things to come with “Be A Nigger Too”, if the record will be released. I think we should trust that he wouldn’t just do this for the sake of childish attention, as shown with this song. The track starts with a ‘turn the radio up’, but I seriously doubt it’s gonna be getting a lot airplay. He’s taking the power out of the notorious word, as well as other words offensive to different ethnic groups, in the chorus with dull repitition, except that it’s far from dull. I mean it’s Nas, of course it’s amazing, profound and, dare I say, catchy, but even as a ehm ‘chink n-word’, you won’t find me singing it on any street corners just yet.

   Nas - Be A Nigger Too

I once got sucked into one of those book clubs from hell that’d punish me if I didn’t pick something from their crappy selection with monthly packages of books I would otherwise never even consider looking at. It took six months to get rid of them, but when that sweet day of redemption finally came I raised my fists to the heavens and vowed I would never EVER join a club again. Yeh, I’m gonna have to break that overly dramatic vow because Slow Club is definitely worth joining. They’re too stomping to be twee, but so cute, I swear I want to stuff them with cotton candy and take them to Disneyland. They play twangy folk with a rockabilly twist, but have moments of almost boombastic Arcade Fire-type outbursts. Strangely, they’re often hailed as the British answer to the White Stripes - probably because they’re a guy-girl duo, but that’s like comparing apples with … Care Bears. I love them both, but in very different ways. I haven’t heard a song I didn’t go nuts over yet, so I don’t even care if they’ll send me books about the joy of scrap-booking, I want in.

Look them up at Moshi Moshi Records and on the MySpace. While you’re there check out the beautiful “Apples & Pears”, it sums up what makes them special in three and a half minutes.

   Slow Club - Me & You

While 2 Live Crew were busy fucking around and acting the fools on Move Somethin’ [1988] and As Nasty As They Wanna Be [1989], something happened in the world of hip hop. … Boom! N.W.A. moved from relative obscurity to (inter)national prominence with Straight Outta Compton [1988] and 100 Miles And Runnin’ [1990]. I say relative obscurity because N.W.A. And The Posse [1987] went gold. That’s chicken feed compared to the double platinum blowup of Straight Outta Compton, an album that, now, seems mild, but, back then, walked up and smacked you in the face demanding a place in music history whether you liked it or not.

N.W.A. was pretty nearly a supergroup in reverse, with most of the members later taking separate roads on their way toward moderate-to-massive success via platinum solo releases and/or branching out to other areas of the entertainment industry. Ice Cube and Dr. Dre pursued widely successful careers. Eazy-E kept his mug in the limelight enough to garner attention when he succumbed to AIDS. The D.O.C. released the superb No One Can Do It Better before having his larnyx damaged in a car accident. MC Ren went platinum with Shock Of The Hour and cemented a place in hip hop’s underground with his collaboration with Public Enemy and Paris on Rebirth Of A Nation. Only Yella, from among the more prominent members, didn’t see much post-N.W.A. success, though he’s now leveraging his involvement with N.W.A. to pursue his DJ Yella Entertainment porn directing career.

   N.W.A. - Express Yourself (Remix)
   N.W.A. - Straight Outta Compton (Extended Mix)

Earlier this week, I came across Stereogum’s Drive XV, a tribute to R.E.M.’s Automatic For The People. I’m a little bit late to the party, but it’s a wonderful tribute to a classic album. Listening to it reminded me that it’s probably been too long since I last listened to R.E.M., which is a damn shame.

Many moons ago, I wrote about how I’ve listened to Pearl Jam for pretty much my entire life. R.E.M. is the only other band to have such a long-term presence. Like any R.E.M. fan my age, I got into them through the big singles from Out Of Time. I taped that album from a friend, I think, which led me to tape Green and Document from another friend’s older sister.* And here I am, 17 years later, still in love.

Here’s a few songs that might not necessarily be the very very best, but that were and have been important to me ever since they were released. “Nightswimming” has always been, without a doubt, my very favorite or theirs. Until Interpol came along and sang “NYC”, I’d always considered it the most beautiful song ever written. (Now they’re tied.) “Belong” is a little unusual, but those soaring vocal bits give me the shivers every time. And, although “Orange Crush” is probably my favorite off Green now, it didn’t get any better than “Stand” back when R.E.M. first came into my life.

   R.E.M. - Nightswimming
   R.E.M. - Belong
   R.E.M. - Stand

* Yup, killing the music industry even back then. In case any big execs are reading along, let me explain exactly how much money I stole from R.E.M. / the big bosses by taping those those three albums back in the early ’90s. Shortly after, I bought Automatic For The People on cassette (it was yellow, remember? That was cool.) and then Monster on CD. I eventually replaced my tapes with legal, overpriced CDs, plus a few more. aDawgg and I paid not-so-small ticket prices to see them live in 2003 and both bought not-so-cheap t-shirts. The entire staff of 100b saw them again on a lovely summer night in 2005. Because I’m a big dorky fangirl, I bought another t-shirt. I will eventually fill up the missing spots in my CD collection and will always jump at the chance to see them live. So, yeah - that illegal copying sure did some serious damage, huh?

(Doh. Mp3 links now working.)

The five-man, Oxford-based outfit Foals are no longer a secret thanks to their debut, Antidotes. But, this doesn’t mean cool dudes and chicks can’t dig them. Okay, for some of the ultra-coolarazzi once you’re known and enjoyed you’re no longer it. Visitors to 100b are better than that.

Antidotes was recorded last year, released in late this past March, and “Cassius” has had significant UK air- and video-play. That’s why you get a sip from a different cup to help you decide:

   Foals - Electric Bloom

For more, visit the official Foals site and, of course, their FoalSpace.

I stumbled across New York band The Postelles during my digital wanderings earlier today, and I fell head-over-heels with their songs. They’re on a European tour at the moment and they’ve toured with Jack Peñate before. They have an EP out on iTunes and their latest single “123 Stop”, produced by Albert Hammond Jr., is out now. They sound a bit like a cross between The Ramones, Bruce Springsteen, and The Libertines but fronted by a fifties rock ‘n roll crooner. In one word they’re lovely, I’m a smitten kitten.

   The Postelles - White Night

Oh God. After years and years of nothing but moaning about the profanity and general where-is-this-world-coming-to-ness that is that dirty, dirty hip hop, Bill Cosby offers an alternative. He’s going to have guest rappers on to rap about … sigh … the value of education on his new album. So basically a full CD worth of songs that’ll tell us to ‘be cool, stay in school’. I’m not saying the message is dumb, it’s a good message for the kids, but the holier-than-thou attitude that comes with it is not OK.

Hip hop is a form of music and music is still a form of art. People should be able to express themselves the way they want, whether it makes sense to you or not. There are people out there that make paintings with poop; I won’t look at, or buy their stinky, ass art, but I also won’t start painting toilet bowls to spread the message that poop belongs in the toilet and nowhere else. I said poop a lot in this post, sorry ’bout that. If you’re worried about the children explain to them that songs are forms of entertainment, not recipes to live your life by. Just like Gunther Von Hagens’ Body World Exhibition isn’t an invite to cut people open and look at their still beating hearts.

   Erykah Badu ft. Common - Love Of My Life (An Ode To Hip Hop)

Every time I listen to “Tighten Up”, I wish I was a Drell and Archie Bell would yell out, ‘Come on Tamboosh, tighten up on that kazoo!’. Then I’d play a wicked little solo that would make him do that badass Archie Bell chuckle and say ‘Aww yeah, sock it to me now!’. Hmm, a girl can dream, right?

Archie Bell & The Drells have had more hits but this cooler than cool, soul single from 1968 probably still lines their pockets. The Tighten Up was a dance and a call on friends to play some tunes and feel the funk. Yo La Tengo has covered it on their 2006 covers album Yo La Tengo Is Murdering The Classics and managed to make this supafly song sound adorable.

   Archie Bell & The Drells - Tighten Up
   Yo La Tengo - Tighten Up

Who’s leading the ENTIRE world in singles sales this week? And, I mean WHOLE WORLD!

Thanks to the magic of the Interweb, we know, with at least a moderate degree of certainty. According to the German hit watchers at Media Traffic (which I have to say might be a bit dodgy based on their site), the United World Chart has this week’s Top 5 worldwide singles hits as …

   1.Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love (four weeks at the worldwide #1 spot)
   2. Madonna - 4 Minutes (ft Justin Timberlake)
   3. Mariah Carey - Touch My Body
   4.Flo Rida - Low (ft T-Pain)
   5. OneRepublic - Stop And Stare

Lewis has blown-up da jernt since winning 2006 edition of The X Factor and, strangely enough, I’m actually glad she’s doing as well as she is.

And what about this week’s albums around the world?

   1. R.E.M., Accelerate
   2. Exile, Exile Catchy Best
   3. George Strait, Troubadour
   4. Aiko, Himitsu
   5. Vasco Rossi, Il Mondo Che Vorrei

R.E.M. No surprise there. But, I gotta say, Aiko must be mad loved in Japan to make an appearance on the world charts. Unless there is a serious underground market for pop music from Nippon.

Curious about what the Top 5 ALL TIME albums are accordingly to the United World Chart?

   1. Michael Jackson, Thriller
   2. Eagles, Their Greatest Hits 1971-1975
   3. Led Zeppelin, Led Zeppelin IV
   4. Pink Floyd, The Dark Side Of The Moon
   5. Fleetwood Mac, Rumours

That’s it for Those Zany Charts … this week. Until then, keep those charts alive.

I have to admit I haven’t even heard the full album myself yet, but like a kid at a sugar party, I got too excited. Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin’s new album, Pershing came out this week! You can stream it on AOL’s Spinner page or download it from Amie Street. Their last album, Broom, was a 2005 favorite of mine, so this news made my stomach do a double somersault - in a good way. For a sneak-peek of the new stuff listen to this sweetly layered pop song with a misleadingly emo-ish title.

   Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin - Think I Wanna Die

Due to poor ratings, CBS axed their new reality talent show Secret Talents Of The Stars after only one episode. The American public - well, the handful of people that watched - only got a taste of George Takei’s singing chops. Here he is with his version of the country classic “On The Road Again”. I can’t decide whether I think this clip is so bad it’s good or so bad it swung all the way back to bad, but that shirt is awesome.

Alright, just to set the tone for this week’s collection of non-news stories: a Venezuelan TV station has deemed The Simpsons inappropriate for mid-morning television. Instead, they’ve decided to treat young children to a healthy dose of Baywatch. Yup, that sounds about right.

Moving on. After the absolutely astounding success of Get Rich Or Die Trying (though we all know Tamboosh is secretly dying to see it, that’s why I’m totally going to buy it for her on DVD for her upcoming birthday), 50 Cent is in talks to star in the upcoming movie Spectacular. He’ll play “a death row inmate whose imminent execution has made him a cause celebre”. Oh dear, he may actually have to act in this one. No good can come of this.

In perhaps even stupider news, if it could possibly be called that, a “major music-oriented television channel … that asked not to be identified” has pitched a new reality show featuring Axl Rose, following his attempts to finish Chinese Democracy. (Hmm. Now what music-oriented channel might show reality shows? I just can’t think of any.) Seriously, who do they think is going to watch that? Do we all get a free Dr. Pepper if we tune in each week?

And, oh yeah, just in case you haven’t read it on every other site on the entire internets, Pete Doherty’s in jail. It’s all just too shocking.

Lastly, and all sarcasm aside for just one second, let’s take a moment to celebrate the beauty that is Air’s Moon Safari, a truly wonderful album coming up on it’s 10th birthday.

   Air - Sexy Boy

In the mid-nineties there were so many Grunge bands, my high school had little pockets of people that claimed they supported THE band that was ‘all that and a bag of chips’. On a side note, I’m trying to stay with the nineties feel so forgive the cheesy slang. Everybody agreed that Nirvana, Soundgarden, and Pearl Jam were the most slamminest, but the music pond was overgrown with bands that were soft-loud-softly yelling for attention. I was a bit of a band hopper, every time a great new single came out I didn’t care who it was from, I’d be ‘all over it like white on rice’. But to me, Belgian band K’s Choice hovered very closely to those Grunge greats from the release of “Not An Addict” off their 1996 album Paradise In Me. I still love listening to it, and I still feel like I’m onto something beautiful when I hear it. The hypnotizing intro, Sarah Bettens’ gorgeous raspy voice that monotonously builds up the tension, the dark lyrics that tell the story of a lying junkie, it’s grungy perfection - oh I mean, it’s da bomb!

   K’s Choice - Not An Addict

I was cleaning out one of my old bags for storage and out came Bad. Shamow! I hadn’t listened to the full album in years, so I stopped what I was doing and popped it in my CD player. When Michael sings ‘your butt is mine’, I’m transported back to the first time I saw the “Bad” video and thought he had to be the baddest gangster ever. I was 6 and my only knowledge of gangsters came from cartoon wolves in zoot suits. When it first came out a Rolling Stone review said Bad is a better record than Thriller, I’m not so sure I agree, but it still is very exciting. It debuted at 1 back in 1987 and claimed that spot the next six weeks.

The video for the eponymous single cost more than the “Thriller” video, but where did the money go? Did the dancers’ fees go up that year? Was the cost of studded leather ridiculously high then? Aside from that financial mystery, it is a pretty cool vid. I love that, like in “Beat It”, Michael’s idea of street gangs had more in common with Bernstein and Sondheim’s Sharks and Jets than anything rooted in reality. Here’s the full 16 minute mini movie directed by Martin Scorsese, starring Roberta Flack and Wesley Snipes:

I prefer the Guys ‘n Dolls inspired gangster antics of “Smooth Criminal”, because I have fond memories of me falling on my nose while trying that leany forwardy bit of the video. And I used to love to play the Moonwalker game on my brother’s Sega. It was awesome, I could kill a man with a fedora! I’m actually a bit surprised so many bands have covered this song, because other than ‘you been hit by a smooth criminal’ I still cannot decypher any of the lyrics. What is it about? Who’s Annie? Why does he pronounce the you in ‘Annie are you OK’ like Ricky Ricardo?

The rest of the album is also still thrilling and a stunning walk down Michael’s wacky but wonderful memory lane. Even the lesser known songs, that are generally considered the album’s filler tracks, like “Speed Demon” and the upbeat duet with Stevie Wonder “Just Good Friends”, are great pop songs and balance out the album really well. Whatever Michael’s next otherworldly stunt, there is nothing he can do that could erase the awe-inspiring musical legacy he leaves behind with legendary albums like these under his belt.

   Michael Jackson - Bad
   Michael Jackson ft. Stevie Wonder - Just Good Friends

Meet my newest obsession, the fantastically dark folksy tunes of Kid Harpoon. I have no idea now where I first came across this man, but I’ve been absolutely hooked ever since.

Kid Harpoon has released two EPs (First EP and Second EP, of course) on the Young Turks label over the last 6 months. Though, to be fair, at 6 tracks apiece they’re really more like mini-albums, or a full album with an intermission. They are both excellent releases, perfect for anyone who likes their folk-rock with a bit of a growl and a sharp tongue. Although all of these songs aren’t all as vicious-sounding as “Riverside” (below), there’s a delicious darkness bubbling beneath the surface that occasionally crosses over into the sinister. I couldn’t possibly love this more.

Listen to “Riverside” right away, it’s definitely one of Kid Harpoon’s best so far. Who doesn’t love a good murder ballad? If this doesn’t send you straight off to order the EPs (on sale right now for a measly £10 combined!), or grab both over at emusic, I don’t know what will. There’s a rumor (so called because I can’t remember where I read it) that Kid Harpoon has an album in the works, with only this one track as a repeat from the EPs. Good god, I hope it’s true and I desperately hope it’s soon.

Visit Kid Harpoon at myspace or his members-only website (simple registration required for access to “new songs, short films, and pieces of writing”).

   Kid Harpoon - Riverside