When I’m able, I like to watch the UK Top 40 on Monday nights – you know, to keep up with what those crazy kids are listening to these days. If I consider each song on its own, I’m pretty much ok with chart music right now. No one song is so bad that I really hate it*, some are even catchy as hell.

On the other hand, I look at the chart as a whole and I’m all, ‘Wha’ happen?!’ Since when is a single sound represented in the charts? And I mean that almost literally: during a recent countdown, I counted about 6 songs out of 40 that did not use the same clubby dance beat. And on top of that, the beat kind of makes them all sing the same – to the point where choruses actually do all sound the same, note-wise. And what’s weird is that it’s almost as if artists are now afraid not to sound exactly like everyone else, if recent tracks by Snoop Dogg (ahem) and Flo Rida are anything to go by. I know that chart music is not always the most diverse, and every old fart like myself says it was better in their day, but seriously – this is out of hand. It’s like unique-ness is now a flaw in an artist, no longer their potential selling point.

While thinking about all this important stuff, I’ve also noticed something else weird (and same-y) about chart songs right now: they’re all about partying, getting wasted, dancing all night, having the night of our lives. Last Friday Night, Party Rock Anthem, On The Floor, Don’t Stop The Party. There are few artists that even pretend they’re offering any substance right now. Tracy Chapman, Aloe Blacc, and even Adele feel very out of place when you watch along on MTV. Doesn’t anyone have an opinion about anything anymore? Don’t these artists think about stuff? I really wish the youth of today had something to say that wasn’t about partying but – based on the charts, at least – I’m really not sure they do. Which is pretty much the most depressing thing ever.

But, if you think back a-ways, this isn’t actually new, it’s just a little worse than before. Here’s a weird little thought that’s been floating around in my head for years: there were a lot of songs about dancing in the 80s. Seriously, a lot – everybody just dancing all the time.

Lionel was dancing on the ceiling:

while Bruce danced in the dark:

and Billy danced with himself** :

Whitney wanted to dance with somebody who loved her:

but David was inviting us all to just dance already:

And, of course, Madonna was into the groove, Michael Sembello told us the story of the maniac on the floor, Kenny Loggins got footloose … the list goes on. Maybe we just always loved dancing and always will. Maybe, just maybe, there’s still some hope for those kids out there right now.

After all, we all turned out ok, right?

* Other than that godawful Snoop Dogg song that’s popular right now. It’s so crap I can’t even be bothered to check the title. Please stop playing it. Seriously. Please stop.

** And some zombies, apparently. What the hell is going on in this video?!

Do you ever look something up online and take so many strange turns that you end up reading up on a topic that has nothing even remotely to do with the original search? Me, ALL the time – it’s like wiki-ADD. The other day I started off wanting to know why Pluto (the dwarf planet, not the Disney dog) was demoted only three years ago.* Somehow, and I can’t for the life of me remember how, I’ve become an expert on where the phrase ‘mama-se, mama-sa, mama-makossa’ comes from. True story! Well, I say “expert”, I mean I now know as much as the person who wrote the Wikipedia entry.

You may have heard the phrase around the playground, it’s been used by a plethora of artists as varied as the Blood Hound Gang and Rihanna. I first heard it in Michael Jackson’s “Wanna Be Startin’ Something” and have been trying to get it out of my head since that first listen years and years ago. I found out that Makossa is a musical style popular in West and Central Africa in which traditional African music is mixed with Jazz, Highlife and Soul. Cameroonian saxophonist Manu Dibango popularized the sound with his hit, “Soul Makossa”, now known as a forerunner of disco.

The single was originally a B-side and released in 1972. David Mancuso, the New York based, self-proclaimed “musical host” used to spin records in his building at the very first, underground dance parties, known as The Loft. To this day, he refuses to call himself a DJ, but he is slowly being recognized as a major influence in the history of the DJ. Anyhoo, he got a hold of a copy and started playing it regularly at these underground, Loft parties. The song became high in demand but there were only a handful of copies, so it was sold out in a jiffy. The smart people at Atlantic licensed it and reproduced it en masse, but not before a couple dozen other bands had covered and released the song, trying to hitch a ride on its popular coattails. Moreover, artists have been using “mama-se, mama-sa” in some form or another ever since, and continue to do so.

The original Manu Dibango song is ridiculously catchy and so freakin’ funky it’s gonna makes you want to cut a rug, heck make that twelve rugs. It doesn’t take any stretch of the imagination to see why this song is known as a prime example of proto-disco.

Here are some songs that perpetuate the popularity of the phrase:

*In the unlikely event anyone was reading this hoping for an answer to the Pluto question: it wasn’t till 2006 that the term “planet” was first truly defined by the International Astronomical Union. Pluto only covers two out of three criteria that make a planet a planet and ever since it gets bullied by the other 8 proper planets. Poor, tiny Pluto.

A few weeks ago I posted a cover of David Bowie’s “Let’s Dance”. Listening to the original “Let’s Dance” put me in mind of another song from around the same time. If you remember “One Night In Bangkok” from the glitzy and gauche mid-80s, then you’re showing your age. I remember it. I loved it then and I love it now.

Written by Björn Ulvaeus, Benny Andersson (yes, both from ABBA), and Tim Rice (of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, Jesus Christ Superstar, and Evita fame), “One Night In Bangkok” was a hands down global hit, reaching the Top 5 in a number of countries, #1 on the Eurochart Hot 100 Singles, #12 on the U.K. Singles Chart, and #3 on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100. This is special considering it was a track from the concept album for an upcoming musical.

Never heard it before? Have a listen. Remember it? Get reacquainted. Beware, the opening lasts until 1:47 before Murray Head bursts into the song proper. (Cut it some slack. It’s from a musical.)

“Siam’s gonna be the witness to the ultimate test of cerebral fitness.”

Yeah, baby!

In the 1960s a string of romantic comedy musicals came out known as the Beach Party films. They’re aimed at teens (yeah, it’s teen week at 100b) and starred Annette Funicello and Frankie Avalon. Frankie and Dee Dee’s (Annette) adventures were so popular they made seven of these movies! The plot never really changes and, come to think of it, neither do a lot of the characters, but why mess with a winning formula? Recently, I watched the sixth movie in the series called How To Stuff A Wild Bikini. It’s so bizarre I cannot believe somebody dished out the money to make this movie, but I’m glad they did. There’s a cameo by Samantha from Bewitched and they even managed to convince Mickey Rooney and Buster Keaton to join the cast. The songs in the movies define poptastic. They took all the popular genres at the time put em in a big hat, added a pinch of California surf and voila!

I think they must have gotten sick of each other, because Frankie and Annette hardly share any screen time in this movie. Frankie is on naval reserve duty in Tahiti and faithful little Dee is back home waiting for her man. Frankie is frolicking around with the local girls, which makes him wonder whether Dee Dee is staying true to him. The only logical thing to do is seek out a witch doctor (played by Buster Keaton), and have him send a bikini-clad siren to steer off Dee Dee’s potential suitors, while spying on her through a cauldron or something, I dunno – that’s where they lost me.

The witch doctor character is so offensive it’s funny. His accent is incredibly cringeworthy, but at one point he actually says “white man make heap good fire water” … it was a joke, but still … it wasn’t good. I love it when they take fake walks on the fake beach by fake moonlight, but my favorite part has to be the invisible girl in the bikini scene that prompted the title song. Again, it’s a bit offensive to women, but once you get over the ‘times sure have changed’-aspect it’s just a very, very silly, but oh so entertaining movie. So if you get the chance, do check ‘em out, they’re so bad they passed good and moved way up to fricking genius.

A song can enter The Poptastic Zone when it’s referenced in other popular media, such as television shows. The Bean and I were rewatching the second season of Ally McBeal and I finally had to pause the Biscuit to listen to the full version of the bells he hears when he’s pumping himself up for some serious legal shenanigans.

Tamboosh has already posted the Rocky theme. But, as many Ally McBeal fans will know, those bells actor Peter MacNichol hears are from (the possibly more poptastic) “Going The Distance” – the Bill Conti score for the battle between Rocky Balboa and Apollo Creed in the original movie. A song of heavy drama unfairly shackled by corny 80s sequels.

But, poptastic or not, I still get goose bumps at the combination of horns, strings, and drums. If it’s good enough to inspire the Biscuit, then it’s good enough for me. Awesome!

Sometimes I forget I really love Big Country, like I forget I really used to love to play hide ‘n seek. But once I’m reminded of the fun times I used to have trying to find the very bestest hiding place (I was an awesome hider, but I hated the ‘seek’ part of the game), all those fond memories start flooding back. I hadn’t thought about Big Country in years and years, but then I got the magical “Fields Of Fire” in my head the other day.

Big Country were a Scottish band whose roots are a big part of their unique sound. They got together in the early eighties and only just cracked the UK Top Ten with their second single “Fields Of Fire” in 1984. It’s so uplifting and fun and the lyrics are full of hope, I think. I decided that the song is about the journey from one point to the other; whether it be literal distances traveled or metaphorical journeys in life, but to be honest I’m not sure. Who cares? The band with its pounding drums, bag pipes, and fiddles sweep me up into such a frenzy that I don’t even care what it’s about anymore. Other bigger hits followed, like “Wonderland” and “In A Big Country” – both great songs, but I think this is the true poptastic classic.

I bought Yeah, It’s That Easy simply based on the name of the band and the cover of the CD. I was walking through Amsterdam Central Station in 1997 on my way to a party and ducked into a small branch of a CD chain store in the station. The cover artwork caught my eye. I remember thinking to myself, “With a name like that and a funky cover, this has to be good.” It was one of those risky buys that either tanks completely or succeeds wildly. This isn’t my normal CD purchasing method. I like to hear a few singles off an album or give it a listen before spending my hard-earned duckets on it. So, it was seriously out-of-character for me to plunk down the cash for Yeah, It’s That Easy.

And, brothers and sisers, I didn’t regret it. The album quickly became one of my favorites and still is. Giving it another listen before putting together this post, I realize just how much fun G. Love & Special Sauce can be. It’s a perfect blend of hip-hop, blues, and cheesy goodness. Have a listen. I’m sure you’ll agree.

For someone who’s actually not a one-hit-wonder, Sophie Ellis-Bextor is probably my very favorite one-hit-wonder ever. She may have had other songs in the charts, but this is the only one I remember seeing a lot of, and it was HUGE. In fact, the wikipedia tells us that “Murder On The Dancefloor” was Europe’s most played single of 2002. No wonder because it is totally awesome – I don’t care if it’s not cool or whatever, I absolutely loved this track and still do. It’s catchy and so happy and makes you want to dance. What more could you possibly want from Pop?

It’s quite a comeback. No matter what you think of her, her music or the never-ending drama that is her life. You gotta admit that it is impressive that only a year ago she was branded madder than a hatter, and now she’s back with what looks like another successful album and tour, aptly called Circus. It feels like she only just pulled herself together (i.e. hasn’t publically displayed any behavior that could be interpreted as mentally unsound in over three months), and she and her PR machine are already hard at work to reinvent her persona and reassure the public that the insanity was just a wacky phase. She’s ready to reclaim her pop princess throne. If she was anybody else, I’d think maybe she should take some more time off, but her last break lead to her very public breakdown. So maybe this is her natural state, which would explain why she’s so good at it. Though I’ve never bought her CDs, I do like hearing most of her singles. And I’ve always had a bit of a soft spot for her; she doesn’t have the best voice, or the best moves, but she does Pop like no other.

Since the powers-that-be made it impossible to post the music video, here’s a live-ish performance from eight years ago of a Neptunes-produced favorite of mine, pre-GI Jane makeover, marriage(s) and other wackadoodle drama:

If you were born or a youngster in 1970s America and your parents were at all open-minded, former-hippies, progressive, or anything remotely related to anything smacking of equality between races or genders, then there is a good chance you had a copy of Free To Be … You And Me. I certainly did. And I must have listened to it constantly, because I can still sing along to most of the songs.

A project lead by Marlo “That Girl” Thomas – with guest appearances from singers Diana Ross and Harry Belafonte, former football player Rosey Grier, comedian Tom Smothers, and talk show host Dick Cavett, among others – the sound is dated and bordering on goofy. However, in this year witnessing the first African-American president taking the oath of office, the principles the album teaches you are no less inspiring after so many decades. It’s hard to believe the world needed an album to teach children that parents are people, too, housework is just no fun, and boys can play with dolls. But, I actually think we did and still do.

If you’ve never heard of Free To Be … You And Me, then have a listen to this virtuoso performance from the star of Mash and Arnie Vinick from The West Wing, Alan Alda, and Thomas. Then buy yourself or your children or grandchildren a copy.

We’re back! All refreshed and ready to get back to our regularly scheduled nonsense. And what better way to celebrate than with a little Partridge Family?!

I know, I know – I’ve posted about the Partridge Family before and you just wish I’d just up about that damn (super-awesome 70s bubblegum) TV family already. But this isn’t really about the Partridge Family themselves exactly – more about the absurdity of record companies.

So everyone knows that the Partridge Family actors didn’t really play on those records – other than Shirley Jones and David Cassidy’s vocals, that is. They had nothing to do with the song-writing or even song selections – in reality, the songs were around before the band was, and some were recorded before David Cassidy even managed to convince the bosses he could actually sing.

Which explains why, on record, there’s one teenaged-sounding Keith Partridge and one middle-aged-sounding Keith Partridge:

(Both from their cleverly-titled debut album, The Partridge Family Album.)

I guess the record people didn’t think those drastically different voices would sound silly back-to-back on record. And I guess they didn’t think it would look weird on screen for David Cassidy to lip-sync to the voice of someone who sounds twice his character’s age.

Of course, this kind of silly crap is exactly what makes The Partridge Family (and others like them) so wonderfully Poptastic. Well, that and the awesome lyrics.

“Santa Baby” is my all-time favorite Christmas song, and nobody can do it like Eartha Kitt did. Many have tried, but I’ve never heard a version that can even touch the original. The wonderful Ms. Kitt strikes the most perfect balance between sweet and girly and totally slutty – something young female pop artists are still trying to do today. Recorded in 1953, “Santa Baby” is both a pop and a Christmas classic.

   Eartha Kitt – Santa Baby

It probably won’t grace any respectable Christmas Mix, but how would you recognize a really good christmas song – like the one posted below – if there weren’t hideous little gems like these? My absolute favorite line is: Funky, dope jam top on your christmas list, do you dig this?. Oh and, what on earth does ‘we’re gonna kick the ballistics off our christmas wishes’ mean!?

   New Kids On The Block – Funky Funky Christmas

For a live performance of this song with awesome early nineties dance moves – check out the video. As a special bonus Arsenio Hall raps along in the end. Hooo boy, I still cannot believe I came across this highly significant moment in music!

There is no one particularly Poptastic thing about the Fun Lovin’ Criminals. Their being alone simply captures the essence of the concept. Produce good songs? Check. Don’t seem yourself too seriously? Check. Have a goofy take on a Pope of Greenwhich Village vibe? Check. Not afraid to look a bit silly now and then? Check.

They’re like a Poptastic Frankenstein, stitched together from some of the best and most Poptastic aspects of different decades since the 1970s.

The Fun Lovin’ Criminals are the Ambassadors of Poptastic Plenipotentiary.

   Fun Lovin’ Criminals – King Of New York (Cooley High Remix)

Ok, so I’ve posted about The Sweet before, but I can’t help it – they’re just a fountain of bubbly pop absurdity. Don’t get me wrong, I love The Sweet, but not for their deep and meaningful lyrics. Who thought it was a good idea to write a pop song about Alexander Graham Bell?! It’s not like this song is new to me, but I was recently struck by exactly how ridiculous it is. My favorite part? The rhyming of “Alexander Graham Bell / Well, he knew darned well”, of course.

Now I must be off to write a #1 hit about Ben Franklin. It’s going to rock.

   The Sweet – Alexander Graham Bell

Listening to “Open Sesame”, Leila K’s massive nineties dance hit soon put me in a haze of giddy nostalgia. It brought me back to school parties and holding hands with the second cutest boy in class. (The first cutest boy had a hand-holding relationship with some other stoopid girl.) But the Moroccan via Sweden ragga-rap-europop songstress life’s story is so sad, the giddiness soon turned into a sad, droopy pool of pity. It starts out nice and promising, not a cloud on the horizon. She was discovered in 1988 by musical duo Rob’n'Razz but found out she didn’t need them to score hits, as “Open Sesame” proved in 1993. Her raw voice and the catchy chorus could be heard in clubs all across Europe and the UK. She had one last hit two years later, but since then it got very quiet.

Then five years ago, there were disturbing reports that the former chart topper was living on the streets and supposedly prostituting herself to finance her drug habit. That’s as rock bottom as anybody can get, whether you used to be a pop star or a sewer inspector. Yet recently there was a rumor going around she was planning a comeback by the end of last summer, but I don’t know how that worked out. The latest tidbit is that she’s a lifeguard at her local pool, which is a whole heap of steps up from homeless-junkie-street walker. Well, whatever else happens to Leila K and her music career, I hope she’s safe and doing well.

   LeilaK-OpenSesame.mp3″>Leila K – Open Sesame

In the annals of Crap Rap, 2 Live Crew hold a very special place. Not only is their brand of hip hop just painfully mediocre, it’s the sort that, for all intents and purposes, is designed simply to provide controversy. And, damned if it didn’t generate enough controversy and scandal to propel it to the top of the Billboard Rap Chart and into the Top 50 of the Billboard Hot 100 in 1989.

That said, everytime I hear “Me So Horny” I start to crack up. I get the giggles listening to the Full Metal Jacket clip played over and over and, of course, in the past had to say it over and over to get on the nerves of the Bean. Ah, good times.

Someday we here at 100b will make a graphic of the Poptastic Wheel so everyone can see how the good-to-bad-to-good continuum works for this sort of stuff. It’s a scientific thing. Like physics or even chemistry. Put enough bad into a song and, at some point, it becomes good again.

   2 Live Crew – Me So Horny

Released in 1981 and an instant hit pretty much everywhere, Kim Wilde’s “Kids In America” is an 80s Poptastic classic. I don’t have any weird facts to share about this one, this pop masterpiece doesn’t need it (and I’m not even being sarcastic). However, I actually listened to the lyrics today, probably for the first time ever, and I’m not entirely sure I understand what this song is about. (Don’t say ‘kids in America’, you smartasses.) It’s an oddly surreal portrait of a dirty town and, um, dancing, I guess – but, assuming it’s what she’s actually singing, what does “everybody live for the music-go-round” even mean? Is that what the kids in America were doing, living for the music-go-round? Hmm.

   Kim Wilde – Kids In America

Nobody, I mean nobody, does Poptastic like Quentin Tarantino. From Reservoir Dogs to Death Proof, fans of the quirky director look forward to the music providing the sonic supporting cast almost as much as the film itself. And we’re never disappointed.

Some months ago, the Bean and I watched Death Proof, Tarantino’s 2007 homage to the muscle car replete with hot rods and hotter chicks. Among the many fine selections on the Death Proof OST is “Chick Habit” by April March (also known as Elinor Blake). A cover of a 1964 France Gall song, “Chick Habit” is one of those Tarantino selections so catchy you can’t help but stop what you’re doing and listen to it.

Absolutely perfect for the movie and 100% Grade A Poptastic:

   April March – Chick Habit

The Lemonheads’ It’s A Shame About Ray is one of my very favorite albums of the 90s and one day I’ll write all about it for a Classics entry. But today we celebrate cheesiness, something The Lemonheads – apparently – understand very well.

The Favorite Spanish Dishes EP was released in the UK in June 1990 but then re-released in the States almost a year later. The US release had a couple of additional songs, one of which was a cover of New Kids On The Block’s “Step By Step”. Keep in mind, this was before it was a requirement for bands to have a few ironic covers up their sleeve. Also noteworthy is that the original “Step By Step” was released the same month as Favorite Spanish Dishes‘ UK release – meaning that The Lemonheads must’ve recorded the cover pretty much right as it became was becoming the New Kids’ biggest selling single. For some reason, this knowledge makes me love them even more.

   The Lemonheads – Step By Step