I downloaded a song in December last year that I have no recollection of at all. It’s really good and I’d love to know who the artist is, but sadly even when I googled the lyrics I got nuthin’. It got me wondering what other ’songs that time forgot’ were lurking in my folders. Well, there were seven, of which four came from the same unknown artist. I was shocked, these poor bands were playing their hearts out and I didn’t bother to give them their proper names. I figured this could make for an interesting ‘What’s My Line’-type guessing game - I’m nothing if not topical. The problem is that I have no clues or hints other than the actual tunes. I don’t even know if it’s ‘bigger than a breadbox’. Aaaawesome, I just made one elderly person chuckle … if I’m lucky.

OK, let’s play What’s My Band! Here are the four songs (I picked my favorite from the one band with four songs) that keep me up at night. The sad thing is that every single one of these songs are really wonderful! I can see why I wanted them in the first place, so if anybody out there happens to have an idea who they’re from and what they’re called, then for the love of Thor, take me out of my misery.

This is the song that started this whole weird post. It’s amazing and more than deserves a name. It’s a little bit punk, a little bit electronic funk, and a whole lotta mystery. I think the phrase ‘Meter Man’ is repeated a lot, but it could also be Meet Her Man, or Meet A Man.

   Mystery Song #1

This Biritsh(?) band and song sound familiar, I have the feeling that if I ever find out who it is by, I’ll be kicking myself. It wavers between stomping and folky & angry and sweet - love it.

   Mystery Song #2

Mystery song number three is a fresh take on seventies, feedbacky psychedelia.

   Mystery Song #3

This song did get a title, “Silver Streak”, but that didn’t do me any good. It was downloaded three year ago and I still have no idea who the band is. It’s sweeping Americana with canned vocals and a spectacular intrumental Lynyrd Skynyrd-type ending.

   Mystery Song #4 (Silver Streak?)

If you’re in the mood for a band that doesn’t take itself too seriously but makes great music with a massive sound, Pink Widower is right up your alley. When I was little I used to want a Tiki bar in my living room and have Tiki parties with a Hawaïan shirt and/or grass skirt dress code. Years of watching Magnum, P.I. convinced me that that was the height of class. Now, it sounds more like the start of a seventies Key party, but I’d still love that bar. When I first heard Pink Widower’s “The Crimson Eye”, my old Tiki dream sprung to mind, because it’s a brilliant song that has a slighty sleazy, old wood-panelling feel, but in a good way! My favorite song on the MySpace is “Baby Elephant”, a mellow yet riotous song about a baby elephant. But do not miss “Battledogs” for all it’s poppy and theatrical wonder. Oh, and if anyone out there has some free time, could you listen to “The Golden Well” and confirm whether the chorus really is ‘old man vagina’ …

Now some additional Pink Widower facts for your New Band Day scrap books: It’s a 4 to 7 piece band from Portland, Oregon … Yah, I’m not sure how many members they have, but one of their sites said 4 to 7 so I’m sticking with that. They’re fronted by The Jed, formerly of Six Foot Sloth. Their songs sound fun, but complicated; I would love to know how the layers of hand claps, voices, a brass band, bells, and that instrument that goes kgrrrrr in the opening of “Battledogs” (what is that?!?) come together on stage. Their debut comes out in June on North Pole Records and I think it’s going to be a perfect summer record, so keep your eyes peeled for it.

   Pink Widower - Motorcycle Mechanic

The 1967 Frank and Nancy Sinatra duet “Something Stupid” reached #1 in the U.S. Since then it has been covered countless times. I enjoy it because it seems to stand out as retro even at the time of its release. That, and I just like Ol’ Blue Eyes.

As for poptastic, well, I think it says something when a song is covered so many times by so many easy listening, jazz, folk and world singers, groups and bands. In fact, while searching for some interesting covers, it occurred to me that either musicians in certain genres don’t appreciate “Something Stupid” or Sinatra or, alternatively, “Something Stupid” is just the type of Poptastic Day song that’s best left altered as little as possible.

   Something Stupid - Original by Frank & Nancy Sinatra (Old School)
   Something Stupid - Covered by Ashley Slater (Hip-N-Jazzy)
   Something Stupid - Covered by Global Kryner (Folksy)
   Something Stupid - Covered by Rich Little (as John Wayne & Clint Eastwood)

If the Zany Charts seem extra zany and jumbly today it’s because, to us in the know, it’s Bean’s birthday! Let’s celebrate with the song that was all the rage in the year she was born. When she first saw the light of day, it’s very likely she might have heard the incredible, poppy sounds of Blondie urging the world to call them, since it was the number one song of the year. It was written for the movie American Gigolo, starring a very young Richard Gere as the highest paid lover in Beverly Hills.

   Blondie - Call Me

The tiny Bean sprout might also have come across the song while watching the Muppet Show with aDawgg, a mere puppy back then. They left out the verse about rolling around in designer sheets, but it’s still the Muppets and Debbie Harry rocking out for the kids to a song about a man-whore, which is just a little bit disturbing:

Lastly, a very special, non-zany chart related, but super festive clip that means a lot to our generation. It’s also a good reminder of why the upcoming “new” Beverly Hills 90210 *barf* could never EVER live up to the old classics. Take it away, Lavoiiine!

What to say, what to say. My time management when it comes to the News-ish Round-Up … Well, it simply sucks. While I have tons of stories and happenings to relate, I started way too late yesterday, didn’t get very far, time and work-related pressure overtook me … And I never got the damned thing done. Then, despite my best intentions, it’s such a beautiful day today I can’t bring myself to stay put long enough to complete the News-ish Round-Up.

So, anywho, all I’ve got to report is that 15-year-old Miley Ray Cyrus (aka Hannah Montana) may or may not be America’s little darling anymore now that she’s posed in some racy (again, for a 15-year-old) photos by Annie Liebowitz for Vanity Fair.

Sure, I think the photos are slightly strange. But, isn’t that what art is supposed to do? Move you? Make you think? Apparently, the photos have many involved diving for cover, pointing fingers, and, generally, scrambling about ensuring their dollars, I mean asses, are protected. And observers are left either sticking their nose in shouting about how it is pure child pornography or that people need to get over themselves. As the Bean would say, “I’m just saying.” Talk among yourselves.

For all you cheapskates that just come for the music samples, have at this …

   The Phi Mu Washboard Band - This Land

Is it sad that I love this song just because of the line: “They got a lot of great desks and chairs at the government center”? I guess not, since a lot of The Modern Lover’s appeal comes from their slightly absurd lyrics combined with Jonathan Richman’s wonderfully droll singing style. The idea of rocking at the government center - and cheering up those secretaries - puts an enormous smile on my face, but we all know it would just be stupid if someone sang about it seriously. Plus, the song kind of does rock - it’s all peppy chorus and handclaps and makes you want to do the twist on some of those great desks and chairs.

In truth, the whole The Modern Lovers album is a classic, but “Government Center” wasn’t actually on the original release in 1976 (which kind of wasn’t even an album at all - you can read more about the winding road to its release on the wikipedia). Fortunately for us, it was included on the re-releases and it’s definitely my favorite from a classic album.

   The Modern Lovers - Government Center

If you’re looking for something different, give 17 Hippies Heimlich a listen. The 13-member ensemble from Berlin, Germany bring together some interestingly varied influences (Eastern European and American folk to name two of the more obvious) and it makes for an intriguing session.

Having been around in some form or another for 11 albums in as many years, Heimlich is the sound of a mature band that knows what it wants the world to hear.

   17 Hippies - Tick Tack

For funzies, here’s 17 Hippies’ take on the classic (nee Poptastic) “Apache”, which, coincidentially, I wrote about almost exactly one year ago.

   17 Hippies - Apache

Two-thirds of 100b have been massive fans of The Black Keys for since we first heard their glorious sound blasting from our speakers. One-third of us had only listened to them casually previous to this assignment. In honor of their wonderful new album, Attack & Release, our mission was to choose their very best song and justify our choice in 100 words or less. It turned out to be pretty difficult for all of us. If you choose to accept this mission, play along with us in the comments.

aDawgg:

The best Black Keys album is Rubber Factory, which gobbled up six of the 10 tracks on the Long List. Sadly, when forced to pick the best single song, nothing from Rubber Factory made it to the Big Three: “Breaks” (The Big Come Up). “Have Love Will Travel” (thickfreakness). “Modern Times” (Magic Potion). Listening to each one last time right now I still haven’t decided. I guess I prefer musics that tug at my gut. Give me rhythm and memorable guitar play. That’s what it takes to get me hooked. The best of the Black Keys? Just listen to it.

   The Black Keys - Modern Times

Bean:

When I think about the The Black Keys, the first thing I think of is their incredible live shows. I think of feeling like the music is physically blowing you away. I think of Patrick Carney drumming so hard his glasses fly off and the floor tremors like an earthquake. I think about feeling Dan Auerbach’s guitar in my knees and hearing his voice in the pit of my stomach. These are not the only qualities that make The Black Keys great, but they’ve made the deepest impression on me. “Grown So Ugly” epitomizes that feeling. Listen to it LOUD.

   The Black Keys - Grown So Ugly

Tamboosh:

I remember what it felt like to stand in a row to be picked for teams during gym classes. You stand there so vulnerable, exposed, and spotty and pray that you’re not the last one called. It’s dehumanizing and gym teachers who force kids to go through it are cruel. I didn’t want any of The Black Keys’ - whom I love with an almost disturbing passion - songs to go through that so in a low whisper I say, I choose “Set You Free” from Thickfreakness. Sexy, loud, raw, stirring, and passionate, it’s everything I heart about them Keys.

   The Black Keys - Set You Free

You know how hot people tend to travel in packs? Well, the same goes for hot bands. In honor of our upcoming 100best post, we bring you Tennessee’s own Royal Bangs. They released their debut We Breed Champions themselves in 2006, but - here’s where this month’s 100best band comes in - Patrick Carney checked them out on the MySpace, loved what he heard, and is going to release the record on his label Audio Eagle Records on the 13th of May. They’ve been blogged to pieces so don’t take my word for it, but hot damn they’re good. They have a bleepy, organized chaos-y feel comparable to Whirlwind Heat and Architecture In Helsinki, and Modest Mouse around with experimental vocals and odd shifts in mood. They also get the stamp of approval from at least 50% of The Black Keys, which should really be enough to pique your curiosity.

Listen to the Strokesy “Broke Calculator” courtesy of I Rock Cleveland.

   Royal Bangs - Broke Calculator

Did you know that “Jump” was Van Halen’s only #1 hit? And that, according to some stories, it was the catalyst for their split with David Lee Roth? (Who was supposedly against the new synth-pop direction the band took with this single.) The wikipedia explains that this story is unlikely, for various reasons. But if it’s true, it must be water under the bridge and all that, because the wikipedia also says that’s it’s been the encore song every night on their reunion tour with David Lee Roth. Yup, at some point you’ve got to just embrace what the people love and go with it.

A real Van Halen fan probably already knows all of this stuff, but I’m not that. Pretty much all I know about Van Halen is this one song. I’m just a big fun pop song fan, and this is one of the best.

   Van Halen - Jump